gibson scott

{photo credit: molly landon}

im a mom.

holy smokes. sometimes i still cant believe it. i cant believe that this perfect little human is mine. that he is in fact a human. 

i am completely smitten with this boy. and i cannot fathom that he has been in my life for almost 2 months. for only 2 months. 

its true, you forget what your life was like without them in it. and honestly im ok not remembering because life with him is ten times better.

sam and i had placed our bets when baby g would make his debut. my guess was september 28. sams was october 5. my due date was october 2. 

september 28 came and went and to my disappointment i was wrong. however that day i was feeling pretty tired. the few days before i had had a crazy burst of energy and was more productive than i had been in literally 9 months. some of our awesome friends brought us some ice cream that night and we went to bed early.

well at 2:30 am i woke up...

i had been dreaming, but knew i wasnt quite dreaming {i know it doesnt make sense}... and thought i had maybe peed the bed! yikes! so i got out of bed and realized my water had broke. 

amazingly i hadnt felt a single contraction up to that point. i am so grateful! however i had been diagnosed with group b strep, so my doctor informed me that as soon as my water broke or when my contractions were 7 minutes apart -whichever came first- i needed to get to the hospital to get antibiotics. 

so sam and i got ready {me slower than him} and made our way to the hospital about an hour later. around 4 am my contractions started. not too terrible at first, but oh man! people tell you it hurts, but i had no idea. around 7 am they measured me... i was only at a 1! what?! so my nurse told me to walk around. i only made it half way down the hallway and then my contractions were so bad i found myself  bent over in the hallway puking my guts out. not a pretty sight.

after a wheelchair ride back to my room, i begged the nurse to call the anesthesiologist for my epidural. OH THAT BLESSED EPIDURAL!!!

around 9 or 9:30 {i cant remember} i got the juice.

night and day. i went from the worst pain i had ever experienced to taking a nice little snooze.

at 12 noon i felt a lot of pressure and knew i needed to push. sure enough it was time. and at 1 pm on the dot my little babe was born!! everything went as smooth as i could have hoped. and trust me i hoped and i prayed!!!

september 29 2012 : 1 pm

7 lbs 6 oz 

20 1/2 inches long

and OH SO PERFECT

it took us a few days to choose his name. i think we always knew it would be gibson, but for some reason we just needed to see his face. 

gibson scott geddes is the perfect baby. he sleeps, eats, is wide eyed for 30 mins and repeats. 

{this is obviously the condensed version of his birth story, but i figured i should get at least something out there!}

becoming a mom

sam and i have been married for almost 5 years.

5 whole years. it seems like its been so much shorter. sam and i have been on so many adventures together in that time, and life up to this point has only been about him and i. 

but now, here we are those 5 years later, and we have a little boy to think about. we have a little boy that all of the sudden has taken hold of both of our hearts entirely. its during this 5th year that sam and i will start a new kind of love. a love that isnt just about the two of us, but about our little family, our little boy.

im so scared to become a mom. i feel so unprepared for this incredible life changing event to take place. but i am so excited. thinking about holding and loving this little boy that is the most precious gift anyone can receive is mind blowing to me. every time i think about it, my heart explodes with love. this little human inside of me, a perfect mix of me and sam is OURS. how is such an incredible blessing mine? this love, by far outweighs any fear i have of being the type of mother i know i need to be to this baby.

for some reason, i have always had the personality and mind set that doesn't think too far in the future. i am the type of person that thinks about the here and now. its been hard for me to imagine that this is real life. a baby will be born within the next 2 months of my life. and he will be MY responsibility. i am this little boys mom. and because in 2 months, im sure my life will be racing at 100 miles per hour trying to figure out this thing called motherhood, i want to remember these simple, albeit uncomfortable pregnant months. 

my memory definitely isnt one of the best, but i want to remember that my baby kicks most often in the mornings when i wake up and am laying on my side and in the late evening as i sit and wait for sam to get home from work. his itty bitty movements have turned into rolls and pushes like i never thought i'd feel. every single time something is on top of my stomach - like a book or a computer- he pushes up on it. sometimes he gets a bit shy though when it is a hand on my stomach trying to feel those pushes.

the past week has been so much fun to watch my belly make big, random jolts and movements. i can tell he doesnt have as much room to move around, so now we get to see those moves and grooves. 

while we were at the doctor on wednesday, sam and i sat in the waiting room watching in amazement as by belly moved from side to side. its honestly one of the coolest things to see. and i know when those movements are going to happen, because its almost like he gets stuck in one spot and there is a lot of pressure before a big turn or roll. 

i have said it for the past 14 weeks, but this kid has been killing my back. throughout this pregnancy i have been feeling really good, but my back. oy vay! tuesday sam surprised me with a prenatal massage. best gift ever! he has done so much for me. after working LONG days, sometimes he is the one that comes home and cooks me dinner, because i just have to lay in bed for awhile. heat pads, massagers, tylenol, anything i can think of i do. but sometimes it just makes me excited for the next 2 months to fly by.

so many women talk about how much they love pregnancy. its funny really, because even though i have had a great pregnancy i havent loved being pregnant. i almost feel guilty admitting that. i have loved feeling my baby kick and move and love the way my husband looks at me. he is the one that loves me pregnant. every day he tells me how much he loves it. which does make me love it more. but im excited for heartburn, back pain and fatigue to be gone. im sure that fatigue part will stay with me for awhile though while my baby learns how to sleep... 

i know i am just rambling now. i feel like there are so many things i want to remember on this journey to becoming a mom. i have been writing things down in other places, but sometimes typing away as fast as i can is the best resource. 

im so blessed to have the husband i do. this new little family of ours is exactly what i want. and becoming a mom is something ive always dreamed of. 

30 weeks

i love this little man. i cant believe we only have 2 more months until we get to meet him.

{design} announcements::

did you know i design announcements of all types?

wedding

graduation

baby shower

christmas cards

baby arrival

bridal shower

and a butt load more!

take a look at a few.

if your interested in seeing if i could make something for you email me at

kyrsten35 {at} hotmail {dot} com

i make some rad wall decor too. baby room prints, family prints, anything your little heart desires.

24 weeks.

im no good with blogger, and for some reason this is being cut off. just click on the picture and you can read what i have to say about 24 weeks... that is if you want! :)

im officially 26 weeks...

21 weeks, shag, texas

(i stole this picture from her facebook)

my little sister shag graduates from high school today. holy smokes! i wish so much i could be there to let her know im cheering her on! but hopefully she knows that i love her and am so so excited for her. she is going to have so much fun in college and will make so many fun memories. she is beautiful and radiant and makes everyone around her feel loved. 

have fun today shag! its the beginning of the rest of your life! and you are gonna rock it so hard!

xoxo

oh yeah. we are living in texas. and i love it here. but its hot.

cinco de graduation

on saturday we graduated!

WHAT?!?! I AM A COLLEGE GRADUATE?

holy smokes! its about time.

oddly enough i had lots of bittersweet emotions about it all. i am so excited to be done with HOMEWORK, but sad to be leaving this stage of our lives. 

its been pretty carefree. and now real life starts.

sam has been pretty sad about it. i cant blame him though. every single professor he had thought the world of him. he was such a good student. i dont think a bachelor's degree will make due for him. it looks like more school is in our future.

im glad its him and not me! 

sams cousin rob graduated from pharmacy school. and my cousin angie graduated with a mass comm degree like me. it was quite the cousin event.

although the 3 1/2 hour ceremony was excruciatingly long for this pregnant woman, i am sooo happy we decided to walk. it made it seem so much more real.

sams mom and dad

shaggy mom and paul

sam and rob. they have been the best of friends for a long long time!

we had to have a unicycle shot!

it was such a windy day for pictures. and i hate that unfinished chimney looking sign. 

we both graduated from the college of arts and letters. it was pretty neat to get to sit by each other and walk with angies name called, then mine, then sams. all in a row.

afterwards we had a big ole party. lots of people came to show us their love and support. we are sooo lucky to have such an amazing family and so many wonderful friends!

alice. carli. lizzy. annie. addie. rachel. me. mj. kirsten. and lots more that didnt get a picture.

austin. mckay. weston. tanner. brit. dan. brandon. sam. jed. 

also, thank you to everyone for so many kind words congratulating sam and i on all of the exciting things happening in our lives right now. we really do feel soooo very blessed!

best day ever!!!

im not kidding either. 

i finished my last final EVER!!!!

and got to get a glimpse of this little squirt.

holy smokes! i am so smitten! 

HE sure is a rambunctious little fella already!! :)

gratitude.

as im sitting at my computer, completely overwhelmed with everything that i need to do in the next 48 hours, i cant help but think about how thankful i am. sam and i are at a time in our lives where every. single. bit. of what we have known is changing.

next saturday we both graduate college. the last 6 years of my life have been spent at isu. i have known each semester what i would be doing. taking tests- writing papers- designing- and doing it all at the last minute too. i would think that after 6 years of stress, i would learn. but no. its my final semester and here i sit with a 15 page paper, an entire college career's portfolio to put together, a presentation, a book to be made and tests yet to be studied for. stressed? oh yeah. happy? oh yeah. heck! i never really thought i would finish college. i never wanted to go to college to begin with, but my dad encouraged me- he told me how important it was to finish and now, here i am 6 years later doing just that. FINISHING! GRADUATING!

sam has worked so hard for this too. he is one of the best people i know. i dont think i know of anyone as willing as he is to do what it takes to succeed. he has been on the deans list pretty much every semester of school and has papers written a week before they are due! wow. we sure are different. he does it the right way though. 

next wednesday we find out what we are having. holy cow. im having a baby! that in itself is enough to be overwhelmed with gratitude about. when sam and i got married (almost 5 years ago) i thought we would wait a year to have a little munchkin and then start our family. but it didnt happen that way. we were too busy learning and growing together as a couple. we were to selfish. heck, im still too selfish, but i guess i dont really have a choice now! :) 

its been so fun seeing sam react to all things baby. i can tell he will be the best dad, and i am the luckiest woman to get to have him as my sweetheart. i sure love that baby daddy. 

so many other things in our lives are changing just as quick as i can type, but all of those changes are good. changes that are huge blessings in our lives. i wish i could express how thankful i am to my heavenly father, because i know all of this goodness and happiness comes from him. 

i am so grateful. 

wait a minute!

when did this belly thing happen? isn't it supposed to be awhile still?

16 1/2 ish weeks

feeling great! minus the back pain and heart burn... any advice?

whooooooo?

yep. im 15 weeks.

due october 2nd!

we are peeing our pants with excitement!!!

this is how i feel.

it's official. mrs. joni and mr. paul are hitched.

and i can honestly say i am happy.

i haven't been a complete peach about the situation the entire time though.

let me start from the beginning.

since october there had been talk of the possibility of my mom marrying paul. i was ok with the idea of paul, i just wasnt ok with the idea of marriage. at least not before taigen graduated high school and jace got home from his mission.

can you blame me? there were many talks about what should and would happen in the coming months. a possible november or december of 2012 wedding sounded good to us girls. we thought it would be nice for jace to come home and adjust to the new world that surrounded him before another bomb was dropped on his life.

as time creeped on, my opinion became stronger and stronger. i said my peace multiple times and i was firm in what i thought. paul was a good guy, but the happiness of my little brother and sister mattered most to me.

at the time i wasnt thinking of my mom. i wasnt thinking of the loneliness she has been feeling for the past year and a half. and i know she was feeling so lonely.

i was thinking of me. what about my dad being replaced? what about you moving to a new town? what about how i feel?

then christmas time came. i had been praying to know how to handle the situation and how to treat my incredible mother with the love she not only needed, but deserved. i had been having a hard time doing that.

so i went to the temple. wow. the temple can do some amazing things for a person's soul. while i was there i had an understanding that i hadn't had yet...

my mom had been praying, fasting, and pleading with the Lord for answers. she was doing this the right way. and my stubborn attitude was making it impossible for her to listen to the spirit.

each of us had strong opinions in the matter, but i realized i didn't want to be the reason she couldn't listen to the answers she was looking for.

so i gave her my 'permission' i guess. each of us did. jace

included. and on christmas day my mom and paul got engaged. i cried. a lot.

i couldn't believe it was really happening. my mom was going to marry someone else. someone who wasn't my dad.

a march wedding was now on the agenda. march? ok, i can get myself together by march. we can make it a beautiful wedding and we can be happy to be there.

so off i went on vacation. i left on january 3rd. after a week in disney world it was time to board the carnival glory for a week long cruise. the day i was boarding the ship my mom called me. she said she was thinking about moving the wedding up a

bit but wasn't quite sure.

she and paul had a trip planned with some family in hawaii at the end of january and they thought it might be nice to use it as their honeymoon.

honestly, i didn't think it was really going to happen. i just enjoyed my vacation and let the thought leave my mind.. for the most part.

sunday the 15th i stepped onto US soil and turned on my cell phone. i had a text from my little sister saying 'january 22nd? what the!' and thats how i found out my mom would be getting married a week later.

this is getting long isnt it?...

i called my mom. i cried. i realized i was actually really angry about a few things involved in the situation and i said some hurtful things. now, thinking about the way i reacted i cry even more because i feel so terrible. hurting my mom's feelings has ALWAYS been something i have tried not to do. i see her as the most amazing woman and i would never want to hurt her in anyway. but i did. because i was angry. angry that my mom was getting married. angry that i wasn't there to know everything going on. angry that i didnt make her wedding announcement. angry that jace wouldn't be there. angry that my family would be completely different. and angry that the wedding would be in a week.

the week wore on. i talked with my mom. i talked with my husband- a lot. i talked with my aunt jodi. i talked to people i barely knew. and i talked to my Heavenly Father. i cried some more. i said more mean things. an then i apologized to my mom. i tried to start thinking of her and how we could make the day special for her.

heck, she was getting married and i NEEDED to be happy for her. the wedding was coming and i could make things miserable for myself and everyone around me or i could embrace what was happening and do what i could to make the day special.

my sisters, my aunt jodi and i planned a little shower for my mom on saturday. i ordered a necklace for her on etsy that has significant meaning for her and paul and i made her a family print to hang in their home.

while doing all of this i realized i was focusing on the good instead of the {scary} i guess. i realized that there really were soooo many good things about the situation.

paul is amazing. his girls are incredible and his grandkids are to die for. i love them all so much already.

he is also a widower. his family knows the sorrow we feel and we know the sorrow they feel of loosing a parent.

they are NORMAL and they have all of the same family values that we have.

WE ARE LUCKY.

the day of the wedding was hard. we all cried together. but it really was a good day. i am happy that my mom is happy. i am so glad that she has found a best friend to spend the rest of her life on earth with. how lucky that we had the most amazing father and now we have a wonderful step-dad that will continue to teach us and love us.

these are my sisters. there are 6 of us. but dont forget about jace.

this woman is one of my very best friends. im so lucky to have her.

the happy couple

and all of us. its a big family isnt it?

life is about moving forward. we have each lost someone very special to us, but we have also gained so many people to love.

the wedding.

my sister wrote a beautiful post about my mom getting married. until i can write anything that perfect take a look at her post!

randtpalmer.blogspot.com

mama j

yes its true. my mom is getting married today.

a little crazy... but im happy for her.

paul is a wonderful man with beautiful daughters.

i know the craziness of this will all settle down soon and in a few months we are all going to be grateful for this new family of ours.

but today, its hard. its hard for me to understand that our lives will be forever changed.

not that they aren't quite different from what they used to be already. but now we add more people to that change instead of take them away.

i do prefer to add, so we are lucky.

its sad to think my mom will have a different last name. she will move away. we will have different traditions and it won't just be our small family of 6.

instead it will be a big family. 6 sisters 1 brother. poor jace. good thing he is such a boy.

im grateful for this new family of mine. i just miss my old one too.

heaven.

we just finished a 13 day vacation of pure heaven.

we missed our first week of school and i don't even feel bad.

i guess reality is going to hit me like a ton of bricks.

lots of pictures and lots of updates are sure to come.... if i actually start blogging again.

xoxo