I feel very humble today. Very reflective on my life over the past few months. My dad has been gone for over two months now. Time seems to be racing by, yet standing still. I feel like I have not shared my testimony enough. I feel like I have not allowed myself to learn as much from this experience as my Heavenly Father wishes for me to learn. I guess that is why we have time on this earth, so that we can learn. So that we can make those changes necessary to better our lives and the lives of those around us.
For the first time on wednesday, I met a girl who lost her father almost a month ago. I had heard much about her and had spent time with her husband, but it was the first time I had met her. I felt an instant connection with this girl. She knows exactly how I feel. Loosing one of the most important people in your life is a very hard thing, but as we talked I recognized that although I can dwell on those hard things, I can also recognize the blessings that come from them.
Trials will come. They come to all of us.
I was asked to give a spiritual thought in institute last week. As I pondered what I wanted to talk about I thought about all of the unbelievable things people have done for my family. I thought about Charity. I shared with my class Moroni 7:47. The scripture says:
"But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him."
As I shared this scripture, I shared my true belief in its principles. Charity is the pure love of Christ. Charity is different than service. Service can and should be done by everyone, but if we posses charity we posses Christ's love. Charity is wanting to help, wanting to serve, wanting to make someone’s life better. For them, not for us. I cannot express enough thanks to those people who have shared their Pure Love of Christ with my family.
As I talked about my dads death and the amazing people that have prayed for us, loved us, and felt compassion for us, I realized that Charity is one of the purest attributes we can have. I also realized that although my trial at this time is difficult, there are so many others out there dealing with much worse circumstances and situations.
After I shared my testimony, 4 different people came up to me to share the trials that they have each been faced with. The boy sitting directly next to me lost his father 6 months ago, my teacher lost his father at a young age, and another woman recently lost her husband to cancer. I had no idea that there were so many other people so close to me dealing with so many devastating trials of their own.
I have been so selfish in thinking only about myself and how I am feeling. I have been dwelling on my own feelings, not willing to put forth my own Charity to help others. Especially when there are so many others around me suffering pain and sadness. When something hard hits your life, it is so easy to dwell on that thing and only think of yourself and how you are feeling. But I am learning that as we help others and strive to share Christ's love, we are truly helping ourselves heal.
I have a lot to say today I guess.
Conference was amazing wasn’t it? I was able to understand so much more about where my life is and what I need to improve on.
My favorite talk was by Elder Uchtdorf, his talk about slowing down. I feel bad because I don’t have any direct quotes from him, but I loved the attitude he had about taking the time for the things that are most important in life and letting the others go. After this talk I was studying for a psychology test when I read about something called off reservation American Indian boarding schools for children. The segment was talking about how brainwashing tactics were used to convince these kids that their traditions and way of life were degrading and that they should be ashamed of them. As I continued reading about the things they did to trick them into thinking that their families and their traditions were bad, it stated,
"Their days were filled with so many tasks that they had little time to think."
I was hit hard with this statement and I interpreted it in correlation with Elder Uchtdorf's talk. Sometimes I fill my day with so much that I don’t even think about reading my scriptures, I don’t think about how I should be improving my relationships, and when I get into bed I am too tired to pray.
As I thought about this I thought about it in the sense that the teachers of the boarding schools are a lot like Satan. He gives us so much to do that we see as good, that we rarely give ourselves time to think about the better. We don’t allow ourselves the time that we need to reflect on how to be better, how to buoy up others, and how to draw closer to Christ.
Most of the things that I am doing with my days are good, but Satan wants me to think that they are more important than those things that are BETTER. He is using the brainwashing tactic to "fill our days with so many tasks that we have little time to think"!
That is why I love Elder Uchtdorf's talk so much. It has reminded me to slow down. To allow myself that proper reflection time that my spirit and my soul needs. Life gets busy, but I think I am beginning to realize that many of the things that we rate as important in our lives really aren’t so important.
It is such a wonderful blessing to have a modern day Prophet and leaders to teach us the things that we need. Life and the world is changing rapidly, and not all for good. It is so important to listen to the things that they say and take action. Conference time is so wonderful, because it gives me a renewed commitment to do those things I am prompted to do. We are given this life to learn, and I am so thankful we have so many opportunities to do so.
Life is good. All is well.
preachy enough for you?? :)
xoxo