the secret life of bees.

i watched this movie this weekend and tonight realized how much i am like a character from this movie. do you remember may boatwright played by sophie okonedo? if you have seen this movie she is the one that mourns for the world. in the movie if she ever hears of something in the least bit upsetting, she is set off and has to go to her "wailing wall" to mourn.

i am her.

i cry often. too often in fact.

somehow, somewhere along the line of my life i like to think i learned sympathy. lately though- maybe the past year i have felt myself become more sensitive than usual.

and i cry.

there are many people that i know that are struggling with sickness, distress, heartache, and yearning. and i cry for them. i dont exactly understand why i cry so much… i know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true and that we have a living God who knows what is going on in our lives and blesses us even still.

yet i cry.

im so grateful for the temple and especially for the opportunity that we have to pray for others. what a blessing it is to participate in such a glorious blessing.

im not mad that i cry, in fact im thankful that i do. im thankful that i am able to "mourn with those that mourn and (hopefully) comfort those that stand in need of comfort". even though i cry i understand that we all must endure trials and heartache to grow and "overcome the world"

and im thankful.

to all of you out there who are struggling with personal and family trials, my thoughts are turned to you and i love you. please know that there are people thinking of you and praying for you.

and its ok to cry.
if you ever need someone to cry with you my tear ducts open quite easily :)

x0x0

i leave for idaho again tomorrow (or today since its 3 am). its very bittersweet. i miss my sweetheart, but my im going to miss little stella too. :/